Smart Marriages - Audio Presentations Featuring Brian & Anne
Our 2010 Smart Marriages conference in Orlando, FL - July 2010 features two recordings:
Session #: 750-608 is based on a 3-day intensive weekend for couples in affair-recovery, this program outlines key steps to healing a marriage.
Healing From Affairs: To order Brian & Anne Berchts 2010 Smart Marriages Workshoprecording (Session #: 750-608), on CD or mp3 for only $15.95 -click here
In Session #: 750-408 learn how to establish a BAN peer-to-peer support system for betrayed spouses in your community – designed to enhance any affair-recovery program.
Beyond Affairs: Prevention & Recovery - To order Brian & Anne Berchts 2010 Smart Marriages Workshoprecording (Session #: 750-408), on CD or mp3 for only $15.95 - click here
2009 Smart Marriages Workshop Presentation by Brian & Anne Bercht. This is an excellent resource for professionals helping those healing from affairs, as well as for couples in affair recovery. It features 4 couples in the audience sharing their own experience with affair recovery during the final 30 minutes.
Beyond Affairs: Prevention & Recovery - To order Brian & Anne Bercht's 2009 Smart Marriages Workshop recording (Session #: 759-608), on CD or mp3 for only $15.95 - click here
Our 2008 Smart Marriages Workshop is specifically meant for counselors, therapists, pastors, mentor couples, and anyone who works to support those in affair recovery.
Beyond Affairs: Prevention & Recovery - Order our seminar from the SMART MARRIAGES conference in San Francisco, CA - July 2008 (Session #: 758-608), on CD or mp3 for only $15.95 - click here Download the corresponding handout
Our 2007 Smart Marriages seminars are for couples in affair recovery.
Beyond Affairs: Prevention & Recovery - Order our seminar from the SMART MARRIAGES conference in Denver, CO - June 2007(Session #: 757-808), on CD or mp3 for only $15.95 - click here
Helpful Websites that address extra marital affairs
Specifically designed for couples struggling to heal from the trauma of betrayal. Unfortunately many couples never really heal from affairs, because they never learn how to resolve painful issues, why the affair happened and what can be different in the future to ensure it doesn't happen again. One of the most valuable aspects of this seminar is that it is presented from both sides, the betrayed and the betrayer, real people who've been there, and have come out on the other side, stronger and more in love than ever.
"I believe in you and your ability to think for yourself. One of the biggest keys to healing from affairs is educating yourself about affairs. Knowledge is power. The more you understand the more healed you’ll be. As you read take what works for you and disregard the rest. This is your healing journey." - Anne
Beyond Affairs - Peggy Vaughan After seven years, James came clean and ended his affairs. James and Peggy wrote this book together providing about 50/50 insight into both sides. I read this book in one day. I couldn’t put it down. It provides profound insight into the mind of the betrayer, and the subtle deceptions that lead a man who believes this is wrong, to make it okay with himself.
Marriage Undercover: Thriving in a Culture of Quiet Desperation Bob and Audrey were strong Christians with a television ministry when Audrey had an affair, and became pregnant from her affair partner. This is a powerful story of reconciliation. Some of the passages written by her husband Bob could’ve been written by me. This book is very Christian, so not a good choice for someone of a different faith or no faith.
Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs
Written by a pastor with 30 years of experience helping couples to recover from affairs. Also one of my top picks for recovery. This book offers practical recovery help to both spouses, and will help you whether you choose to stay in the marriage or not. Either way you need to heal.
Torn Asunder Workbook: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs Also one of my top picks for recovery from affairs. The workbook is very good, and is an excellent option for couples who can’t afford counseling, seminars or prefer not to go that route. The questions will help you to understand each other and your marriage better and provide constructive discussion openers and practical exercises to help you both in your healing journey.
Infidelity: A Survival Guide This is a very sensible and helpful book on healing from infidelity based on Don-David Lusterman's years of experience as a therapist. It offers help for the person who has had the affair in helping them to know what do do to rebuild the marriage, as well as help for the betrayed spouse and perspective for family members and friends sincerely wishing to support a couple through healing.
Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild & Affair-proof Your Marriage
This book is written by two clinical psycologists who have been working with couples and individuals for more than 25 years each. They have formulated a unique approach to understanding how to build strong, loving and resilient marriages and how to help couples rebuild their marriages after betrayal.
Feeling Good : The New Mood Therapy We recommend this book to most people recovering from affairs. One of the hardest things is finding ways to deal with your negative, depressing and obsessive thoughts.
Shattering Your Strongholds: Freedom from Your Struggles A Christian book that teaches some very powerful principles on gaining freedom for yourself and the ones you love through effective prayer. This book would not be of interest to someone who does not embrace the Christian faith.
Relationships & Marriage
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs This is a must-read for every married couple. I cried through much of this book, because it's the only book I've ever read, that I felt had I read it before my husband's affair, it may have contributed to preventing it in the first place. The truth this author has discovered is profound. The way he presents it makes it easy to grasp.
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage This is a great book on relationships, only I think the author should rename it “His Needs, Her Needs: The ABC’s of relationships. (My personal opinion.) It is deceptive to believe that by perfectly meeting your spouses needs you can control your spouses behavior and prevent them from having an affair. In my experience, both personally and professionally, unmet needs in a marriage is not always the reason behind affairs, and believing so leaves the responsibility for the affair on the faithful spouse instead of with the unfaithful spouse where it belongs. I recommend this book highly. Just read it in context. I caution betrayed spouses from going into Super Need-Meeter mode to be sure an affair never happens again. This is neither a happy, nor fair, nor realistic way to live.
The Power of Two: Secrets of a Strong & Loving Marriage
If effective communication is a challenge in your marriage, this is a powerful and practical resource. Communication struggles that can seem so complex and insurmountable are clearly resolved. Author, Susan Heitler, PH.D. has done a sensational job of making something usually so hard to grasp, simple, easy and straight forward. I was astonished reading it. The principles my husband and I developed in healing our own marriage are here clearly laid out. If we had had this resource during our affair recovery time, our healing time would've been greatly expedited. Susan shows you how to disagree, agreeably. Remarkable job explaining what every couple needs to know about communication.
There comes a time in every betrayed spouses journey when you need to take a break from heavy thinking about the affair and focus on thinking more positively. Here’s some books that can help you when you get to that place.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People : Powerful Lessons in Personal Change - Covey You’d be surprised how much help for surviving affairs is in this book. Learn how to change what you can, and leave behind what you can’t and how to tell the difference. Part of the journey to healing from affairs is personal growth. You’re never going to be the same again, so you might as well become better. Bitter or better the choice is yours. This book will help you to get better.
If your spouse has left you in an emergency financial situation, these books can help you think out of the box and solve your problem.
The One Minute Millionaire: The Enlightened Way to Wealth - Hansen A woman loses her husband, and her wealthy father-in-law sets out to have her children taken from her as well, saying she’s an unfit mother. He has money and power on his side. Find out how she beats him … and learn some principles that can really help your financial situation at the same time.