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Healing From Affairs
“The Healing from Affairs Seminar saved our marriage! After reading Brian & Anne’s book, both my husband and I had a glimmer of hope, that maybe we could also heal, and one day have an even stronger love on the other side of the pain.
"The weekend proved to be a deeply touching experience for both of us, one we would never trade. It brought to the surface core issues and dealt with them, and most importantly we left with a “tool box” full of relationship skills to keep our marriage on track.
" I felt relief because we were finally able to deal with all the things I was hurting about. Listening to Brian share helped my husband to see what he needed to do and why he needed to do it. Brian and Anne’s interactive presentation styles really held our interest. We were never bored. There was constantly something that both my husband and I could relate to.
"It’s been 6 months since we attended, today I’m able to do things and handle things I know I wouldn’t have been able to if hadn’t learned what I did. My husband and I have made a decision to attend a weekend seminar with Brian and Anne once a year. Our experience with them has been invaluable! ”
- B.A., Office Manager, Monroe, Washington
"The only reason I agreed to attend the Healing From Affairs Weekend with my wife was the fact that Brian Bercht had worked in construction, and even then I was pretty skeptical. I’m not into therapy, seminars, counseling or long drawn out touchy feely stuff. Just give me the bottom line. The weekend experience was positive and different from what I expected. One of the most valuable parts was being able to hear from others who’d had affairs and talk about the challenges we face trying to put this whole thing behind us. If you need to heal your marriage after an affair, don’t waste your time dragging this whole thing out. Just get to the Healing From Affairs weekend, get the issues dealt with, and reap the rewards of reconnecting with your spouse, being respected and trusted again, and keeping your family together."
- T.A., Construction Contractor, Monroe, Washington
“The weekend with Brian & Anne was well worth the travel, time and money it took to get there. They both as a couple and as individuals bring a sincerity of purpose and a genuine love for others in the room which translates into a tremendous power to transform lives.
They bring personal experiences and direct insights based upon willingness to share whatever it takes to help others. They invite you into their lives and let you know that this seminar is so much more than a transaction. The authenticity and genuineness is just something one must experience. It will enrich and change your life together forever.”
– R.H., Manager of Leadership Development, Ann Arbor , Michigan
"Anne and Brian have been a God send in our lives. The pain and things I’d endured in my life had left me a broken woman. I believe that God sent them into my life to help with my journey as I found this web-site while I was researching. After reading Anne’s book and corresponding with her, I knew my husband and I had to attend one of their weekends.We’re so glad we did. We’re fairly fresh in our journey, and we still have a way to go, but now I know we’re going to make it.
"During the weekend my husband and I reconnected in loving ways that gave us both hope for the future, that the love we share is one that’s worth restoring, that I can forgive, heal, trust, and be happy again.
"I also learned the importance of having fun along the way. Our lives had been too full of responsibility and challenges. The things we learned and the practical way they presented were so valuable, that we want our married adult children to attend thier Love & Passion weekend as well." – P.H., Photographer, Ann Arbor, Michigan
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“After 36 years of marriage, I found myself caught up in an affair. I loved my wife, but I also loved the thrill of my experience in the affair. I stood teetering on the edge of losing the most important things in my life, and I didn’t even realize how close I was. In some ways I feared giving up the affair and recommitting to my marriage. I didn’t know if my wife would ever be able to get past the affair, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to experience with my wife, some of the fun I’d experienced in the affair.
"My wife suggested that I read Anne and Brian’s book pretty much at the final stage of our marriage. The book gripped me from start to finish and reading it helped me to see what I was doing more clearly. What really helped me was the balanced point of view from both Brian and Anne. Brian’s feelings and thoughts were very similar to mine: I saw me, in Brian, I understood. The book gave me the vision and hope that I could have the love and life I always wanted to share with my wife. I broke off the affair after agreeing with my wife to give it a real go.
"Next step was how to get there. I was not comfortable going to someone who has never been there before. We decided to go to aseminar wit h Brian and Anne. I was very nervous and a bit scared.
"Attending Brian & Anne’s seminars (we’ve been to all 3), has helped me to see and deal with my issues. They have helped me become a better man, given me the communication tools and help to make the decisions that were right for me. As a result, I have received forgiveness from my wife, have her trust and respect again, and now she listens to and understands and acts on the things that are important to me. Together we’re building new memories and having more fun than ever before.
"For me the seminars were comfortable places to be. Anne and Brian’s experiences and education into the topic put you truly into a comfort zone. It is OK, you are not the bad guy, you have hope and a future, you have fears.
"Everyone in the seminar has their own story, it can be private, or open, no pressure. Everyone has a common goal and everyone is in a different stage of healing. In the seminars you make great friendships, you have people supporting you, cheering your marriage on. You can be open and honest in the right climate. You get the right tools to work on your marriage. You learn who you are in a very fun way."
- B.T., Retired, Okanagan British Columbia
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“After reading other books, I can honestly say that “My Husband’s Affair …” is the best one I have came across! It is a powerful and moving 360 view into personal lives, written from the heart, and a book that can help anyone navigating an affair; but also beneficial for affair prevention. This book gave me hope for the future. When my husband read the book, he was finally able to choose the path that was right for him, staying in our marriage. Destiny is about choice and this book definitely helped us to make the right choices.
"Then together we attended all 3 seminars. We enjoyed the presentation style; always open, honest, comfortable, and professional, as well as entertaining and fun. Each seminar provided us with tools to help us move forward in positive ways and has greatly enhanced our relationship.
"When our adult children learned of the affair they were devastated. They, like us are slowly healing and it is helpful for them to see the positive steps we are taking. We want them to take Anne and Brian’s relationship seminars as well. Anne and Brian’s seminars have been the best investments we could make for our relationship. They’ve helped us heal much faster and move forward into a truly happy and passionate marriage.”
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L.T., Retired, Okanagan British Columbia
- Your knowledge and
style were strong, but your interaction
as a couple together spoke even more highly
of the healing that is possible. Great job!
- Seattle, Washington
§ Right from the heart
sharing - truly inspiring - idea's from
someone who has "been there" is
helpful for me. - Chilliwack, British Columbia
§ The course challenged
me to look beyond myself and see issues
from my wife's perspective. I look forward
to growing together as a couple. Thanks!
- New Orleans, Louisiana
§ Talking with both
of you really helped me to feel that my
husband and I can heal like you and that
we will have a marriage that will be better
than we could ever have imagined. All of
this is HARD work, but so worth it. - Chilliwack,
British Columbia
§ For the first time
since D-Day, I'm beginning to feel safe
with my husband again. After hearing Brian
tell his story, even though my husband said
some of the same words, it just made more
sense to me hearing it from someone other
than my husband (mainly because I didn't
believe a word he said for a long time).
I'm finally beginning to feel safe and serene.
- North Vancouver, British Columbia
§ So much of the seminar
was helpful. One of my favorite parts was
the sharing on forgiveness - straight from
her heart, it really touched me. As Brian
said, men pretend to be men of steel, but
they're really very delicate and vulnerable
inside. Learning about our respective personality
types was a real eye opener for me. I knew
we were different, but seeing us plotted
on paper just made it so clear to me. One
of those "ah-ha" moments! - Abbotsford,
British Columbia
§ Thank you Brian
for talking so candidly and frankly about
why things like this happen and for giving
us a view into your brain. You have helped
me to understand my husband and helped to
explain how and why this terrible thing
could have happened to us. - Coquitlam,
British Columbia
§ I think we get out
of this seminar what we are willing to put
into it. I appreciate the fact that we are
challenged as individuals to change and
to stop pointing fingers at our spouse as
the source of our problems. I would recommend
this easily to anyone in need of feeling
like there are others in the same predicament
who have made it or are at least willing
to give their marriage a fighting chance.
- Calgary, Alberta
§ This seminar helped
me understand the "why" of the
affair and gave my husband verbal tools
to better communicate his thoughts and feelings
to me. It was definitely a stepping stone
in the healing journey. - Boston, Massachusetts
§ The first breakthrough
was by just being in the same room with
other couples who are going through the
same thing. We are only human after all.
- Abbotsford, British Columbia
§ There was a good
mix of information from the betrayed and
the offending spouse giving both of the
listening spouses words we could identify
with and words to help us understand the
other side. We came away with many tools
to use in our discussions -- tools to use
at home, most importantly, but that can
be used in most areas of our lives. I'm
sure that everyone identified with many
of your examples, which will help with our
learning. Having the healing waters of the
hot springs was just such an added bonus!
- Abbotsford, British Columbia
§ I found the three
day "Healing from Affairs" seminar
to be a wonderful retreat away from the
daily grind. It helped to open communication
channels with my spouse, and allowed us
the space and time to re-connect with one
another in a lovely resort setting. I would
recommend this seminar to any married couple.
- Seattle, Washington
§ The pain is still
there but I feel like I've come to the end
of my tunnel and I'm seeing the light at
the end. Thank you both from the bottom
of my heart! - BS, Houston, TX
Love & Passion:
"The
Passionate Life Seminar provided a special
time for my wife and I to connect in a more
solid way emotionally and spiritually. It
provided additional perspective for us to
see, more than ever, that deeper learning
and growth in a marriage is a process that
requires patience and enduring love. But
more than anything, we were inspired by
the incredible obstacles that Brian and
Anne had overcome within themselves and
in their communication to build a healthy
and passionate life, and seminar, together!"
- Terry D. Anderson, Ph.D.
Even though my wife and
I have been happily married for 35 years,
we enjoyed every minute of Anne and Brian's
humorous and inspiring seminar, and were
impressed with the solid concepts they presented
and the wealth of practical tools we came
away with for strengthening our marriage
even more! We would highly recommend their
seminars to any married couple. - Dave Mosley;
BTh; Former Pastor & Current Bus. Admin.
Of Summit Pacific College
The Passionate Life seminar
was, for us a restful, informative, hope-filled
weekend during which we learned a LOT about
ourselves and our marriage. Anne and Brian
are outstanding speakers. The setting was
beautiful and the participants we met were
powerful, helpful people, most making the
same journey we are. We feel blessed to
have been a part of it.
- SS, Surrey, British Columbia
Hearing Brian's story, and of life after
a serious affair, to know how he was susceptible,
as I was, and to know the process from beginning
to end. My wife and I had the opportunity
to dine with them one night, and had a two
hour conversation with them both after the
completion of the seminar. - RF, Rockford,
Illinois
For us, hearing Brian's and Anne's story
of the affair - from the very beginning
of it and through their complete recovery
- was invaluable to us. Learning what tools
they used to recover and how they made changes
to their behaviors was inspiring. Also,
taking the PSI and the Values Preference
Indicator tests was an unbelievable experience.
Those tests were so accurate and we learned
a great deal about ourselves! - TP, Chilliwack,
BC
Yes, I found this seminar
very helpful. Having read many books, attending
our church's 'Marriage Matters' class, as
well as private and couple counseling......I
found this seminar to be a good summary
of the material I had been studying. Putting
it into practice is quite a different matter........this
seminar with Anne and Brian did just that.
For the first time, I feel I can release
from my 'affair partner,' go through the
pain, gain back the trust with my wife and
children, and do the necessary hard work
to regain my life. Thanks for a great weekend!
- RS, Surrey, British Columbia
The Passionate Life seminar was an extremely
powerful, informative and touching three-day
event. We are so grateful to have been able
to attend this. It was well worth the fifteen
hours of travel it took to get there. If
you have the opportunity to go to this,
do it. You will not be disappointed. The
things you take away from this seminar will
stay with you for the rest of your life.
- SB, Massachusetts
Embracing Our Differences
§ My husband and I
really enjoyed the Passionate Life Seminar
you held in Abbotsford and found it very
helpful. We appreciated your warm, friendly,
and honest approach. Please let us know
the dates of the seminar you are planning
in the Fall, and any future seminars, as
we would like to attend. - MC, Abbotsford,
British Columbia
§ I would recommend this seminar to
any couple that wants to grow in their life
together. - KD, Surrey, British Columbia
§ I really appreciated
the light-hearted, creative and interactive
presentation style. - CL, Squamish, British
Columbia
§ Some very profound
points. This should be given to all people
who get married or get into relationships.
- JM, Abbotsford, British Columbia
§ Hope to attend more
seminars like this one. - MB, North Vancouver,
British Columbia
§ Thank you for your
wonderful help for couples like us, who
are struggling in their marriage. You are
an inspiration and give me hope for a marriage
that will be happy and strong. Enjoyed the
talks. Plan to see you again for your next
seminar. - GB, Kamloops, British Columbia
§ "Good energy,
humor and pace! - DT, Abbotsford, British
Columbia
BOOK
ENDORSEMENTS
MY HUSBAND'S AFFAIR
BECAME
THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME
By Anne Bercht with husband Brian Bercht
and daughter Danielle Bercht
Endorsements
Anne reminds us that adultery scars a family.
Every member suffers. The pain feels like
it will last forever, and it comes in overwhelming
waves. But bit by bit, over time, through
her personal diary and every family member's
honesty, you see hope, respect, trust, and
love restored. This is a grand story of
reconciliation, redemption, and second chances.
I have already given it to couples I work
with and I anticipate doing so for a long
time to come.
- Dave Carder, author of "Torn Asunder,
Recovering from Extramarital Affairs"
and "The Torn Asunder Workbook"
This book makes a wonderful
contribution to the growing willingness
of couples to "break the code of silence"
and share their experience with affairs
in order to help others. It offers clear
insight into the pain involved as well as
great hope for the power to recover and
rebuild the marriage.
- Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy
Myth" and Host of www.dearpeggy.com
I loved this book! It
is informative and gives a positive example
for others struggling to rekindle their
marriage after such trauma. Moving and very
powerful emotionally. The insights and honesty
offered are right on the money and extremely
well articulated. There can be no greater
goal than rebuilding a marriage to the benefit
of both spouses and the family.
- Bettina Gregory, Psy. D, Host of American
Life Television's "American Family"
"My Husband's Affair"
deliberately removes itself from providing
"the theoretical and psychological"
explanations for the why of infidelity and
instead purposes to take readers on a gut-honest,
courageous, straight-from-the-heart journey
into the lives of a couple/family who endured
the aftermath of an affair. A must-read
before couples, facing infidelity, make
life decisions they may later regret. This
book provides an alternative to the expected
... hope that it's not over.
- Don Huston, BTh, MC, RCC, Couples Therapist
This is a great book! Through
Anne and Brian's captivating journey readers
will gain tremendous insight into the complexity
of relationships and subtle pitfalls that
can lead to infidelity. Couples dealing
with the painful aftermath of affairs will
find comfort, understanding and hope for
the future. Pastors and therapists will
become better equipped to support people
through this life-shattering trauma.
- Terry D. Anderson, Ph.D, Professor and
Author of "Transforming Leadership"
I've never read such a
raw, candid account of a couple's journey
out of darkness. You feel like you are right
there with them, in the middle of the storm.
Warning: Once you start reading, this book
is impossible to put down!- Logan Hirsh
Series Producer, American Family - GoodLife
TV Network
Spellbinding. Suspenseful.
Compelling. These incredibly powerful words
describe Anne Bercht's admirably candid
new book, My Husband's Affair Became the
Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me. In
her inspiring true story, Ms. Bercht takes
the reader on an incredible journey filled
with fact and emotion to masterfully reveal
how her husband's affair which nearly destroyed
their marriage, ultimately made her a better,
stronger and happier woman. The book is
skillfully written and filled with colorful
language, brilliant insights, and hope-lots
of hope-for those who are in the process
of coping with their spouse's infidelity.
Thank you, Anne, for sharing your story
and your wisdom so that others may reap
the benefit of your experience. Your amazing
book truly has all the makings of a best
seller! Good job! Bravo!!!
Cassandra Lynne, Author of LoveSpeak: "The
Married Woman's Guide to Love and Romance,"
www.romancewiz.com
This book is an example
in which truth is far more interesting that
fiction. It is a must read for anyone who
is considering an affair, currently in an
affair or living with the pain caused by
an affair. Anne and her family give the
reader the unique opportunity to witness
the rollercoaster of emotions from three
different perspectives (wife, husband and
child) and will leave the reader with realistic
hope. The best part? You won't be able to
put it down!
- Kelly Nault, Author of
"When You're About To Go Off The Deep
End, Don't Take Your Kids With You"
What a ride! Anne captures
her marital journey in a way that leaves
you feeling as if you've just completed
a double loop on a roller coaster . . .
only to realize there's another one coming!
This authentic retelling of the real truth
will grip the heart of anyone who has loved
deeply. After reading their story, I see
Anne and Brian as nothing less than heroic.
They are champions of honesty, commitment,
perseverance . . . and true love.
- Monica Columbus, Educator
Dear Anne - I received
your book in the mail at 11:00 am this morning.
I am writing you tonight at 9:00 pm having
read it cover to cover in just one day.
Loved the book. Really well-written, and
HONEST! Not many books out there with that
kind of honesty cover to cover. It gives
me hope. I hope to one day be where you
and Brian are and be able to send you an
email with the title of success story! Think
big.
- A Reader
As a woman who has been the "other
woman" I can say that this is the first
book that ever explained, from the "other
woman's" point of view, how being the
"other woman" hurts me and will
never get me what I want (See Chapter 13
'Meeting the Other Woman'). The construction
paper demonstration that she did in Chapter
13 has convinced me. I will never sleep
with a married man again! I also loved the
way Anne found inspiration in everyday songs,
books, situations and people. Reading this
book has taught me to look at life a totally
new way. Reads like a beach novel while
providing wonderful insights.
- Lisa, New York, NY
Dear Anne - I just spent
last night and this morning reading your
book. I laughed and I cried. I cried at
some of the poems and at some of the letters
your husband wrote to you to express his
sorrow, and I cried at all the hard work
the two of you have done to save your marriage
and how difficult the whole process has
been. I was angry when you faced your husband's
affair partner and proud of how you were
able to deal with it. I admire your family's
courage in bringing your challenges out
into the open. When I read all of this I
realized what we still need to do in our
relationship. Your book has made me want
to take more risks in our communication
to find out what's really happening.
- A Reader
Anne - You have written
and honest, courageous and compelling account
of a journey of transformation! I enjoyed
reading it and often had a hard time putting
it down. The last chapter is as good as
anything I've seen in terms of outlining
practical advise and identifying the key
behaviors and attitudes that will affair
proof a marriage. You have been refined
by fire I think!
- A Reader
Anne - Thank you so much
for writing this book! Yours is an amazing
story, you an amazing woman! I have been
personally challenged by your outstanding
example of commitment, strength of character
and sense of purpose! God bless you and
your family Anne, for sharing this important
"counter culture" example of the
power of love and forgiveness!
- A Reader
Dear Anne - Your book
is very well-written. It held my interest
throughout, and I found myself very surprised.
It carries a far greater message than I
imagined. You must do all you can to get
this book into the hands of as many readers
as possible. I believe your book will make
a tremendous difference for many.
- A Reader
Anne's story often mirrored
my own moments of unreality experienced
after the discovery of my former partner's
affair. It provided an empathetic anchor
in my struggle for survival in a sea of
grief and self-doubt.
- Deidra Robertson, Educator
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